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Author Topic: Today in Mayberry news:  (Read 17118 times)
Anonymous
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« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2010, 10:35:20 AM »

Man sucked into sausage machine

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_odd_sausage_machine_mishap
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Anonymous
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« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2010, 02:55:28 PM »



Great set up boring outcome.  I'll stick with my imagination. 

Remember that Cosby bit when his brother Russell was taking a bath in the toilet?
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Anonymous
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« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2010, 04:34:54 PM »



Great set up boring outcome.  I'll stick with my imagination. 

Remember that Cosby bit when his brother Russell was taking a bath in the toilet?


this is mayberry if he'd a been sausages Ida put it on da bum bored
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Anonymous
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« Reply #18 on: May 24, 2010, 11:58:10 AM »

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Anonymous
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« Reply #19 on: May 24, 2010, 07:54:51 PM »




Why does that dog look so happy?

It's raining hot dogs and he's on top of the cloud.

I.M. Befuddled.
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Anonymous
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« Reply #20 on: May 26, 2010, 05:38:33 PM »

WHEATLAND, N.Y. — Police say four teenagers trying to hold their breath for the time it takes to drive through an upstate New York hamlet were hurt when the driver fainted.

Authorities say three 19-year-old men and a 16-year-old boy were traveling together late Monday night when they decided to try to hold their breath while riding through Garbutt, a rural Rochester-area hamlet that’s just three-tenths of a mile long.

Monroe County sheriff’s deputies say 19-year-old Bryan Parslow of Caledonia fainted while driving and his car hit a boulder.

All four teens were treated at a hospital and released.

Parslow was ticketed for failing to stay in his lane. He’s a paraplegic who was paralyzed in 2008 after falling out of a window in Brockport while attending college.
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Anonymous
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« Reply #21 on: May 28, 2010, 07:16:03 PM »

HADDON TOWNSHIP -- A 17-year-old high school student admitted in family court in Camden Thursday that he defecated in a classmate's soda during an auto-shop class.

Prosecutors dropped an aggravated assault charge in exchange for the boy's guilty plea to a charge of tampering with a food product.

Authorities said the victim sipped the soda, then spit it out as his classmates laughed on March 29.

A judge ordered the boy to serve probation, serve 200 hours of community service, write a letter to the victim to apologize — and to write a 1,000-word report on why it's unhealthy to ingest fecal matter.
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Anonymous
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« Reply #22 on: May 29, 2010, 04:40:52 AM »

I hope he references Human Centipede.
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Anonymous
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« Reply #23 on: July 11, 2010, 08:05:00 PM »

Alligators are a common sight in Mayberry waterways, but they rarely travel by bicycle.
So when sheriff's deputies saw Terron D. Ingram riding his bike down Goodchildren Street in Mayberry with a 3-foot-long gator draped over his neck late Friday, they had a few questions.
Ingram dropped the reptile and his bike and ran off, but was apprehended a few blocks away.
"We don't know what his intentions were," said Sheriff's Office spokesman Capt. Pat Yoes. He said it wasn't clear where Ingram had captured the gator.
Ingram, 38, of 158  Estates Drive, was booked with a variety of charges, including cruelty to animals by abandonment, resisting arrest and possession of drug paraphernalia.
He was being held on $15,000 bond.
All ended well for the gator, however. Alligator Control Officer Kenny Schmill said he released it into the marsh.
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Anonymous
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« Reply #24 on: July 12, 2010, 10:27:55 PM »

Lost on Mayberry I-95 mile marker 88.2 on 7-8-10 (car crash near the marsh)
 
Claire ran from our vehicle when it rolled on I-95 S on July 8. She is around 7 months old. She has two different eyes. She is used for therapy and needs daily medication. She was wearing a small orange safety vest and name tag on.

Claire is wanted back.

You may contact me anytime at Mayberry-7599.
 
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #25 on: July 13, 2010, 04:04:27 AM »

Two different eyes, eh?  What a freak.
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #26 on: July 13, 2010, 06:26:41 AM »

Two different eyes, eh?  What a freak.

Only two eyes?  What a freak.
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #27 on: November 12, 2010, 08:34:27 AM »

Mayberry Man Forced To Eat Own Beard

Mayberry, Ky. -- A central Mayberry man said he's waiting for justice to be served after two men shaved his beard, then made him eat it.

Harvey Westmoreland and his brother got into a fight with James Hill and Troy Holt in May.

The dispute was over a tractor Westmoreland was trying to sell to one of the men.

Westmoreland said the men felt like they were being ripped off and that's when the fight started.

"Troy offered to buy it from me for $250 dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him," Westmoreland told WLEX-TV. "One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire."

"(Then) they cut my beard and forced me to eat it," he said.

Hill and Holt pleaded guilty. It's expected they'll be fined and sentenced to supervised diversion.

http://www.wlwt.com/r/25762204/detail.html


Deer learn to play the ancient game of knock-door-run

Mayberry. — Rose Allin has had enough.

It's one thing for the deer to scrounge around in her yard, eating all her flowers.
It's quite another for them to come up to the front step and ring her doorbell.
“I just wish they'd stop," she said, looking very cross.

She's tried modifying her doorbell in order to make it harder for them to press, but to no avail.

Once, they rang it in the early morning. So, she came out with her cane and cursed them.

However, when the doe started to snort and scratch the ground, she figured that was enough.

“Auntie, don't do that," her nephew warned. “Don't you know they could put a hoof right through you?"

Well, still, she thought, there's got to be a better answer. The deer fence hasn't worked, nor has the special spray from the nursery.

In 2008, the Mayberry council approved a $500 fine for anyone feeding wildlife, except birds, to discourage residents from contributing to the problem of excess deer in town. The Ministry of Natural Resources has also made additional deer tags available to hunters in recent years.

Municipal bylaws prohibit deer hunting in urban and developed rural areas within city boundaries where discharging firearms isn't allowed.

Last winter, MNR biologists estimated the Mayberry area's deer population was continuing to decline, following a peak in 2006-07.

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2010/11/11/16095536.html
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #28 on: November 12, 2010, 10:33:06 AM »

That deer lady should switch to a knocker.
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #29 on: November 29, 2010, 07:48:16 PM »

An article in Telegraph is describing a new 'wonder' 15-year old boy in Mayberry who has been meditating now for 6 months straight without food, water or anything else. He's been sitting under a pipal tree just like the historical Buddha was sitting for 49 days before reaching his enlightment.

Of course, there's a lot of motion around this ongoing event and a lot of pilgrims from India and Nepal started to gather around the place, creating a buzz and a market.

The question that interest me most is how does he manage to live without food or water for so long. In what kind of state his mind and body are that there's virtually no metabolism going on in his body? Where does he get the energy he needs to live?



There are Pipal trees in Mayberry?
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