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Author Topic: Please don't be dead and help!  (Read 24156 times)
Anonymous
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« on: February 04, 2009, 06:07:31 PM »

Dear Professor,

It's time to stop being dead and to start answering questions again. It's very cold outside and I'm out of all intoxicating substances, except the ones prescribed by my doctor and I don't abuse those. I want so much to avoid the cold that I am completely sober, at least in relation to most every state of being I can remember. Unfortunately, that means I'm thinking and thinking begets questions. Questions with answers are fine, but I can't reconcile myself with one puzzler.
So anyway, if this were a story problem, all of that would be garbage. However, is it right to dismiss garbarge when you never would get where you are without garbage? My question is: Is there anything to my new love of chores, in particular depositing trash in black plastic bags and carrying it to the curb in front of my house? That question spawned another more important question, because it's about me: Do you think I'm out of touch with myself because I hate all of the garbage inside of me?
Also, I am still obsessed with you and your ears. PLpost a nice picture of one, and be sure to show some neck!
Sincerely,
henrietta von schnellwart
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2010, 11:05:04 AM »

Yeah, rewite this for me you fuck. 


Lumber which comes from existing trees is absolutely mysterious.  You can build a heated deck addition onto an existing 2 story house with the right tree lumber, plank your existing kitchen floor or many other things which exist.  Tree lumber comes from existing trees but not all trees (existing or otherwise) produce lumber.  Some existing trees that produce lumber for non-existing building projects are California Redwood, plywood and black cherry. Some existing trees that do not produce tree lumber are bonsai and petrified trees. Existing tree lumber is generally long and flat and dry and barkless.
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2010, 03:42:20 PM »

I was asking whether or not I should buy a Ukulele or keep practicing the guitar. Are you really a professor?
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #3 on: August 23, 2010, 04:19:46 PM »

There are plywood trees?
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2010, 04:59:11 PM »

There are plywood trees?

There aren't?
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2010, 05:49:27 PM »

I really want to brush my teeth, but I keep putting it off.  What is wrong with me?
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2010, 06:07:30 PM »

NOT THAT ANYMORE!

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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2010, 02:43:29 PM »

Lately I've been favoring my meat cleaver over my other knives.  What does this mean?  Should I be worried?
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2010, 05:32:03 AM »

When you start using an axe to chop up your "meat," which you "harvest" from the local playground, then you should be worried.

- Doctor Blimpface
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2011, 07:17:52 AM »

Hi dead professor fuckface, do you know if one would need professional services to get cum stains out of a/c ducts or is that something one can do with a fumigator or something?
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2011, 10:21:36 AM »

Hi dead professor fuckface, do you know if one would need professional services to get cum stains out of a/c ducts or is that something one can do with a fumigator or something?
Alligator not fumigator.
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Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2011, 07:36:53 AM »

Is the professor back? I'd like to officially announce my enduring obsession with the professor. Also, how do I get rid of it?
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